Not blaming others
“He ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.”
— James Allen
Reflection
Blame is the convenient escape hatch of the undeveloped soul. “Not Blaming Others” reflects Allen’s belief that maturity begins the moment a person stops attributing his unhappiness to people, history, or circumstances — and starts taking responsibility for his own responses.
Blame feels good in the moment because it temporarily relieves you of responsibility. But it also traps you in the very conditions you resent. When you blame, you hand power away. When you take responsibility, you reclaim it.
This does not mean pretending everything is your fault. It means owning your thoughts, choices, and attitudes regardless of the behavior of others. You cannot control how someone treats you, but you can control whether that treatment becomes your identity or your excuse.
Character grows in the soil of responsibility. Every time you say, “I choose my response,” you strengthen the foundation of your life. And as your character deepens, your circumstances often change to match it.
And that’s worth thinking about.
— Vic Johnson
Putting It Into Practice
- Identify a situation where you have been blaming others and ask, “What is my part?”
- Replace one complaint with a concrete commitment.
- Take one small action today that demonstrates responsibility instead of resentment.
One Question To Ponder
What part of your life would change most if you stopped blaming and started choosing?
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